Friday, March 11, 2011
Caller: Halo, foot massage ar? [Thinking to myself, “Cilaka (Shit), thought I am from the massage parlour kah?”. On a spur of moment I decided to play along]
Me : Ya, this is FOOD massage. We have Special FOOD Massage, Back Bacon Massage, Honey Porky Belly Massage, Curry Chicken (slang for love bite) Massage, Patin (Batin)Massage, Banana Massage, Lontong Massage, Sausage Massage, Meat Ball Massage……….What you want?
Caller: Wah, massage got like that wan meh? I am staying in Hotel XXX, you can send girl or not?
Me: Can send anytime you want. Errrr, you want Chicken (local slang for whore) or Duck (local slang for gays)?
Caller : Eh, I don’t want Ah Kua (slang for gay)! You can send Chicken?
Me : Can, how many you want?
Caller : ???????, One enough lah! Sexy or not?
Me : My Chicken very sexy wan! Pak Cham Kai (Steamed chicken), hairless wan!
Caller : Wah, so good ah? How much one?
Me : RM20 only.
Caller: What, so cheap! Got HIV or not?
Me : Very clean wan, I cleaned them myself.
Caller : What, you clean them? How?
Me : Yes lah, I korek-korek (dig) from the back side and wash with water.
Caller : Wah, you are worst than me leh. Eh, sure or not, so cheap, I don’t believe lah.
Me : Cannot over charge lah. I buy from Kepong Wet Market, fresh one only RM12.
Caller : What! Kepong Market got sell meh? [realizing that I have tricked him]……@#*@$*&......you siau (gila, crazy)!
Then he put down the phone! Serve him right! Ha ha ha!
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